Thursday, October 13, 2011

"Women Just Aren't Funny"

For English class during my Junior year at UVM I had to write a paper about a recent event.  It was fall semester, naturally every weekend was spent with my family or camp people (I guess it's the same thing) so I wrote about this one particular evening where my brother said, "women just aren't funny."  This has been a continuing theme in his life, getting yelled at occasionally- but here it is, junior year scenario writing piece 1...

"Women Just Aren't Funny"

              It’s 12:00 midnight and I’m tired of waiting up for David to get home.  The night creeps me out enough but I’m also home alone which he knows I hate.  As I yawn I realize I have to make a decision.  I decide to fall asleep to a movie.  My parents are gone so I head to their room, put in a stupid romantic-comedy that I don’t need too much brain power to concentrate on, and I slip into bed.  Immediately as I pull the covers up the phone rings.  I knew it could only be David or my parents, so I answer the phone.  “Bring some ice,” David demands, “and some Kahlua!” his friend drunkenly yells from the background.  “Are you at Pine Lodge?” I ask.  “Doctor’s cabin.  We want ice!”  I hang up the phone.  I let out a sigh of defeat as I get up, turn the movie off, grab whatever random bottles of alcohol I can find from my kitchen, grab a bowl and fill it with ice, and get into my car to drive over.  

               I get there and my brother, and our family friends Cory and Ryan are sitting in chairs drinking out of jelly jars.  “Here’s ice, Kahlua, and tequila, that’s all I could find.”  “Oh you did great Tare!” Cory slurs, “here have a chair.  We’re discussing who the actors of our generation are...”.  Cory and Ryan are about ten years older than my brother and I so they go on to say who they think is most influential and David adds his two bits.  I sit quietly with a dumb smile on my face listening to them go on about the difference between actors and comedians.  Then my brother states, “Women just aren’t funny.  Look at all the comedians we just mentioned, yes you mentioned Amy Pohler and Tina Fey but they’re not really that funny.  Girls just aren’t funny”.  In my head I think, “That’s only because you like a certain dry, witty humor that references penises and vaginas and you just think it’s weird because you’re attracted to women so hearing them say the things you think freak you out.”  But instead I say nothing.  

                Ryan goes on to defend the women comedians and I nod my head in agreement.  Why do I sit and say nothing?  Because they’re not going to listen and I just don’t find it worth it.  My brother’s friends always mention how shy I am.  I’m not shy, I just don’t see the point in making responses and arguments that they’re just going to refuse.  It’s like the question, “If a tree falls down do you hear the noise?”, “If a girl and a boy both tell the same joke, but you only laugh when the boy says it, does it mean the girl isn’t funny?”.  

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