Saturday, October 29, 2011

The Monceposs Theory

So this is another Junior year paper- but I've had this theory of life for a while... The Monceposs Theory- my ideal way of living.  It's the idea of genuinely liking something bad, corny, tacky, socially unacceptable, even shameful, and you understand that but you still enjoy it.  It's this theory that has run my life, the movies I watch, the books I read, the drinks I enjoy- So I made up the term Monceposs as the word to describe my lifestyle...

          It’s a day off and I’m trying to convince my friends to watch “The Three Musketeers” (one of my favorite movies) with me.  They all grunt and moan.  “Is it good?” My friend Grace asks.  “YES!” I proclaim.  She looks at me skeptically.  “Well, I mean, it’s not really good, but it’s a one of my favorite movies!” I explain.  Grace and the rest of the girls give me this “Are you serious?” type look.  Oh they have no idea.  “No guys you don’t understand... It’s amazing!  And you really only need to play with two rules and you’re gone- whenever they say ‘Dartagnan’ and ‘Musketeer’ you drink and you’re done, it’s hilarious.  Steve and I were crying in the middle of it...”  My friends are nice enough to humor me and they sit waiting while I put in the classy VHS tape.  As the movie goes on and I laugh at the parts that I think are funny, they start to get it.  They even chuckle when Chris O’Donnell’s character, Dartagnan, starts to get sassy and mouths off to everyone.  Some people would describe this dramatic, action-packed movie as “bad” because of how cheesy it is.  Charlie Sheen plays the passionate, ‘man-of-god’ musketeer.  Did you read me?  CHARLIE SHEEN!  With his long, dark hair and thick mustache, he lives to save the King of France.  Tim Curry plays the evil Cardinal who makes terrible, inappropriate remarks at the Queen and uses dark puns.  I still don’t think you’re getting it... PUNS!  I just don’t see how this movie could get any better.  That may sound sarcastic, and maybe part of me is, but there’s another part of me that is completely and utterly serious in describing my love for, “The Three Musketeers”.

                 I’ve always liked “bad” things specifically because they’re bad.  When I say bad, I don’t mean leather wearing, hair-braided, motorcycle misfits.  I guess I mean corny, cheesy, tacky, gross, and/or weird, or combinations of those terms.  For further reference to this we’re going to use the word “monceposs” to describe things as corny, tacky, gross, and/or weird.  The other day when I was sitting in English 001 class, we had to watch Rick Astley’s music video “Never Gonna Give You Up”, and I felt genuinely excited.  Then when I realized we had to write all of the “cheesy” things about it, I was a little put-out.  So I tried my best but when conversing with the rest of the class about what they thought were the worst things, I was so confused because I thought those were the best!  Or did I?  I completely understood why no one liked the bartender randomly dancing in the background because there was no reason to the grin on his face or why he was doing backflips off the wall.  But, in a way, isn’t that what makes it a funny?  The fact that it is so random and silly?  Yes, there are some who say that “cheesy” things are an insult to our intelligence, but I don’t think that Rick Astley was thinking about insulting people when he made his music video.  The thing that’s great about “monceposs” things is that they are genuine.  When someone is being ‘cliche’ it’s because they want to be just like every one else, they want to be generic.  But when someone is cheesy, they’re just genuinely goofy and don’t see the big picture.  I guess it’s all just a difference in peoples’ tastes.  
               I’m not the only one that suffers from this “thing”, liking things simply because they’re awful.  My brother Steve also suffers from this syndrome.  He really enjoys low budget horror films, bounty-hunter anime movies, and really gross beverages such as Genesee Cream Ale and Wild Irish Rose (a bum wine made pretty much from chemicals).  We actually both share the liking for really gross beverages.  At the end of last summer we discovered a 30-pack of Bud-Light that had been left in the trunk of his car for the entire summer.  His friends remarked how skunky and disgusting it would taste and that he should throw it away.  Instead, we decided to make an event out of it.  Our friends pulled their faces to the side with looks of disgust as my brother and I clinked our beers that had been held hostage in a trunk and that at one point had probably reached over 100 degrees, and yelled “Cheers!” and took a swig.   Of course, it was disgusting.  The skunky, flat taste is nothing that Julia Child would ever want in any of her recipes, but we treated it like it’s a delicacy.  Why did we decide to waste our time and drink something that was so obviously awful and gross?  Steve would argue that it makes “good” beers taste better and helps him to appreciate it more.  Which to some level I agree with, but I think it also goes deeper and has something to do with the enjoyment of “monceposs” things.

                 Though many people never show it, I think everyone has a side of them that likes “monceposs” things.  They’re just closeted.  I have a friend, her name is Bridget, and she likes certain people specifically and only because no one else likes them.  It’s actually a wonderful quality because when I get annoyed with some of kids that I work with, she’s always there to play with them because she thinks it’s funny how bizarre they are.  She also likes people who are kind of offensive.  Not in a malicious way but more of the fact that they just say theories and ideas to push peoples’ buttons.  I can also appreciate this at times, I tend to find the people that say things just to make everyone mad, very entertaining.  Everyone else hates them, obviously because they’re being offensive, but I still think it’s funny because I know it’s not real.  Maybe that’s the real kicker (did you catch the pun?).  If it’s real, then it’s not funny, or if you really like it then you’re crazy.  But if you like “monceposs” things because they’re “monceposs” then it’s fine.  Or maybe somewhere out there is another term for it.  In spanish, there are two words that mean understanding; comprendo, and entiendo.  The difference is that comprendo means “Yeah I get it, I hear you”, where as entiendo means “I understand and empathize with you”.  I think that’s just magnificent.  So, in my ideal world, there should be a term for genuinely liking things, and then another term for enjoying things because of their “moncepossness”.  Or rather, appreciating them for their “moncepossness”.  
          I think that having conversations of best actors and films that have “changed our ways of viewing” films or society is cliche.  The people who I have those kinds of conversations with come off as arrogant and are completely judge-mental if you do not agree with them or do not know what they’re talking about.  I’m not saying that they are arrogant and judge-metal people...  I’m just saying that I do not enjoy those conversations because they’re not genuine.  Everyone says what they think the other people want to hear because then they come off “smarter” or more “cultured”.   Now that just grinds my gears.  I enjoy having conversations that make you see another side to things or end up laughing.  Thus when you drink a three-month-old, warm, skunky beer, everyone thinks that your facial expressions are funny and you enjoy the experience.  It also just helps you to see the silver lining in everything.  If you only liked things that were legitimately likable, you would dislike everyone and would be sour whenever you came across it.  However, if you can like “monceposs” things, you can tolerate, appreciate and (hopefully) enjoy a lot more things and then be happier.  Now even with this unique characteristic, there are some things I will just never like.  Things such as the T.V. show “Lost” (they’re on a island, didn’t Tom Hanks do something like that, and with a cool ball named Wilson?), my brother’s anime movies (except Afro Samurai because it’s literally a Samurai warrior, with an afro! Genius...), and people who drag out their stories to make them longer by adding dramatic emphasis.  But liking things that are “monceposs”, like; gross beer, “Degrassi” (teen-dramatic show), rare 90s techno music (Baltimora anyone?), Surf Ninjas (one of the finest movies I’ve ever seen, they’re ninjas, who surf!) and people who are awkward with their hands (it’s just fun to watch)- has opened up my world to finding other people who like these things and to be able to enjoy life just that little bit more than I did yesterday.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

"Women Just Aren't Funny"

For English class during my Junior year at UVM I had to write a paper about a recent event.  It was fall semester, naturally every weekend was spent with my family or camp people (I guess it's the same thing) so I wrote about this one particular evening where my brother said, "women just aren't funny."  This has been a continuing theme in his life, getting yelled at occasionally- but here it is, junior year scenario writing piece 1...

"Women Just Aren't Funny"

              It’s 12:00 midnight and I’m tired of waiting up for David to get home.  The night creeps me out enough but I’m also home alone which he knows I hate.  As I yawn I realize I have to make a decision.  I decide to fall asleep to a movie.  My parents are gone so I head to their room, put in a stupid romantic-comedy that I don’t need too much brain power to concentrate on, and I slip into bed.  Immediately as I pull the covers up the phone rings.  I knew it could only be David or my parents, so I answer the phone.  “Bring some ice,” David demands, “and some Kahlua!” his friend drunkenly yells from the background.  “Are you at Pine Lodge?” I ask.  “Doctor’s cabin.  We want ice!”  I hang up the phone.  I let out a sigh of defeat as I get up, turn the movie off, grab whatever random bottles of alcohol I can find from my kitchen, grab a bowl and fill it with ice, and get into my car to drive over.  

               I get there and my brother, and our family friends Cory and Ryan are sitting in chairs drinking out of jelly jars.  “Here’s ice, Kahlua, and tequila, that’s all I could find.”  “Oh you did great Tare!” Cory slurs, “here have a chair.  We’re discussing who the actors of our generation are...”.  Cory and Ryan are about ten years older than my brother and I so they go on to say who they think is most influential and David adds his two bits.  I sit quietly with a dumb smile on my face listening to them go on about the difference between actors and comedians.  Then my brother states, “Women just aren’t funny.  Look at all the comedians we just mentioned, yes you mentioned Amy Pohler and Tina Fey but they’re not really that funny.  Girls just aren’t funny”.  In my head I think, “That’s only because you like a certain dry, witty humor that references penises and vaginas and you just think it’s weird because you’re attracted to women so hearing them say the things you think freak you out.”  But instead I say nothing.  

                Ryan goes on to defend the women comedians and I nod my head in agreement.  Why do I sit and say nothing?  Because they’re not going to listen and I just don’t find it worth it.  My brother’s friends always mention how shy I am.  I’m not shy, I just don’t see the point in making responses and arguments that they’re just going to refuse.  It’s like the question, “If a tree falls down do you hear the noise?”, “If a girl and a boy both tell the same joke, but you only laugh when the boy says it, does it mean the girl isn’t funny?”.  

Testing, 1-2-3

This is my first test blogging! How exciting... not.  I normally wouldn't think to post a blog... but I love writing and what better way to get it out and not force my friends or family to read it. All about choice- because that's what Amuurrrrrica's about.